OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
