is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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