That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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