evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
