Define "chronic" masturbator.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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