Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
