He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
