ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
