Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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