ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
