why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
