ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
