and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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