My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Where is the hickey?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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