he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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