Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
