hotel room ftw
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
