Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
