sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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