This is not my ceiling
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
