It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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