hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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