After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We just shotgunned beers for America
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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