YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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