All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
