You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
