I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize