All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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