Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
