Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
