We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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