Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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