if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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