You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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