dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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