I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
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