i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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