Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
