Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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