why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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