whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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