You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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