We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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