it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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