Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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