my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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