Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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