sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
