Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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