I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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