Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
